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Our close companions for more than 20 years, a person who's overcome numerous challenges, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's constantly blindsided in relationships. Her husband left her, which came as a massive blow. Several of her social circle disappeared then, because they seemed only interested in her husband. This surprised her. She put in more effort toward our bond, likely realised better the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

In the time since, quite a few in her circle have drifted apart and she isn't sure why. The company she worked for became hostile, even though she was highly competent, her exit happened without knowing why things shifted.

Present Situation

In recent times, we have each retired leading to more time together, however, I feel the part I play in our friendship is to listen. I start topics of conversation but she shifts them to what interests her. In terms of politics, she holds firm beliefs. I try to recommend factchecking and different perspectives.

She has been organizing a holiday abroad I've visited many times even called home for a while. I tried to offer advice, yet it was not welcomed. She essentially only wanted me to confirm her plans. I have returned from 30 days in that country she hopes to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate in this role who abandons suddenly without explanation, however, I feel she can understand the effect of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Currently, I am in pulling back. What should I do?

Possible Paths

One option is to cut and run, however, that approach is seldom a smooth outcome we imagine. But confrontation aiming for a solution takes courage and openness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one is to state the usual pattern when you talk. It should be as factual as possible like an unbiased account. Step two is to express how this leaves you feeling. There should be no dispute here. Emotions are your feelings, after all. Finally is to ask how the two of you will alter the pattern in your relationship."

Consider your friend holds perspectives, thus requiring you to stay open to acknowledge it. One effective method is to say your friend:

"Now you talk and I'm going to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

It's wildly successful for promoting better communication.

Key Takeaways

Your friend could ignore your concerns, since certain individuals have a “survival narrative”: they have a story of their life they cannot release because their very survival relies on it being the only thing familiar to them. This is difficult when there seems no thoroughfare here, mere obstacles. However, she might initially present this way and then think your perspective. And even if you don't achieve a fix, you'll have satisfaction from having been honest with her.